Mistake Mulch: A short guide to making mistakes
It’s drizzling in Boulder right now. It smells like wet grass and summer. I’m eating a carrot and mango smoothie. I say eating because it’s too thick to drink, so I’m using a spoon. And I’m thinking about mulch.
I’m reflecting on a conversation I had with a friend recently. Let’s call her Lexi. Lexi is not a fan of making mistakes. She thinks it a bit odd I like, and even encourage, making mistakes.
Our conversation went like this.
Lexi: I feel like I’ve reached a plateau at work. I’m not being challenged anymore. Or, I’m not doing the things that would challenge me.
Gwen: Why not?
Lexi: I’m afraid that if I do what I really want to do I’ll get in trouble.
Gwen: What would happen if you got in trouble?
Lexi: I might get yelled at. Or let somebody down. But, really, I just don’t want to think about it. I’d rather not try to do anything too big because if I make a mistake, I’d feel terrible.
Whether a blessing or a shortcoming, I’m a fan of mistakes. I don’t intentionally make mistakes to upset other people. Any real, hard work - especially change work - we do has the potential to upset someone. For instance, the blog. Recently I’ve been concentrating on clients and new projects. I haven’t posted to the blog on a daily basis. Even though I know consistency is the key to a great blog, I’ve been inconsistent. While I’m aware that I’m making the mistake, I know that setting aside one project for another is the best way to get progress.
If you’re mistake phobic, set a goal to make one mistake per day for a week. Just try it out!
Here are some possible mistakes you can make to get you started (add your own to the comments):
Burn Anything Give yourself permission to burn something. It feels good. Make the mistake with confidence. Go ahead and turn the burner up a bit too high on an egg and walk away. This doesn’t have to turn into a huge ball of flames. You can turn down the burner. Once it’s burnt to a crisp.
Be Late Last week my friend was running late to meet me for tea. I was running late, too. So I said, ‘Hey, if we’re both running late and we’re only meeting each other, we’re on time!” Be a little late today.
Forget Something When you run back home (or to the store) to get whatever you forgot, notice something new. Reversing our route often reveals something new we’ve been missing. Use it as a time to practice mindfulness.
Mistakes are life mulch. They let you breathe a bit. They make life richer, give you room to grow. It's summer, enjoy making some mistakes while the earth is soft, fertile and able to catch you when you fall.
Go on, now. Make a mistake, discover something new.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Reader Comments (9)
I need to work on viewing mistakes as mulch and not as a disaster. I tend to be really fearful of messing up and flustered by it when it happens. This is a good way to view it...thank you. Inspiring, as always, Gwen.
I love pushing the limits and suggesting crazy ideas to potential clients. Sometimes they look at me like I'm crazy. Other times I'm a genius. It's a mistake not to try at all.
I grew up afraid of making mistakes and disappointing others. I can't pinpoint anything in particular that made me that way. I was very self-critical, which had awful consequences for both confidence and anxiety. Things got a fair amount better around the time of college, but then I chose work that involved surrounding myself with other perfectionists in a world dominated by rules, which amplified my bad habit of worrying endlessly -- really -- about others' expectations.
It took until 2007 for me to really come to terms with the fact that my mental habits were perfectionism and a bad thing, and only since then have I started getting better at allowing myself to make mistakes. It's SO much healthier. I'm starting to let my personality breathe more, to, well, have more fun. I regret that I didn't reach this point earlier, but I'm getting better at letting that go, too; all I have is now.
Sure, things will grow in dirt, but if you want great plants, you need some good mulch.
not sure if you are aware of keri smith and her new book Mess: the manual of accidents and mistakes
http://www.amazon.com/Mess-Accidents-Mistakes-Keri-Smith/dp/0399536000/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_9
I think you would like her.
Excellent advice Gwen, as usual! I am going to implement this into my days this week.
If anyone needs a soundtrack for making your one mistake per day, an excellent choice would be "A Mistake" by Fiona Apple from her album "When the Pawn..." The cool lyrics and a mp3 are here:http://tiny.cc/fiona3
nice ideas! i enjoy your blog, consistent or not...i had to chuckle a little about trying to make mistakes since i make so many without trying! good focus on what is important and how to GROW through them...hence the mulch analogy...wish i was enjoying a carrot and mango smoothie...yum!
Great post, Gwen. And I agree with Ramona, above -- if you don't yet know Keri Smith's work, I think you would like her. Your suggestions for making mistakes actually reminded me flat out of her writing/art.
I wrote a similar post on making mistakes in April (linking for reference) because I frequently am fearful of making a mistake, messing up something at work or at home (more at work than at home, I admit) -- and I decided just to give myself permission to make them. I'm human, I'm not perfect, I will stumble and I will fall. Getting up gracefully and learning from those moments are what counts. I like to think I'm making a survival guide for life -- when I make a mistake, I learn from it and make note of it, and then I (hopefully) don't do it again. :) Cheers!
Cool.
The second one (being late) is dangerous for me as I'm practicing being on time!! Sometimes I show up 20 minutes early just to see what it feels like... and it's akwardly great!!
But in general I love making mistakes. I believe 99% of what I do is risk, mistakes, experiments.
A perfect life would be so boring.
This is a great post. I love, love this...making mistakes can help us learn so much. Also frees up our energy.