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"What sets [Gwen Bell] apart from the slew of young, hip pro-Facebookers out there is that she not only translates the complicated language of social media, she also teaches technologists to unplug." - Sheryl Sulistiawan, Fast Company

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One simple suggestion from Gwen resulted in hundreds of additional sales for my business. She knows what really works in the digital space. - Ev Bogue

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Tuesday
Aug312010

The Quiet Brilliance of 750 Words

"Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere." Anne Lamott

Tell me the number of times you've sat down to write, saw a speck of dust that needed dusting immediately and abandoned your writing practice to dust. Dust! 

I'm not qualified to talk about the writing process (I didn't minor in Creative Writing) but I know how tough it is to commit to a daily practice. Digital life is distracting. Nevertheless, I'm committed to daily writing practice, and if you are, too, try 750 Words. Good chance it's the somewhere you've been looking for.

750 words is about three pages of writing. It's the amount recommended by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way. It's the right amount to get your creative self excited, not so much that you'll have to quit your day job to complete them each day. You can get through it with minimal distraction (and if you are distracted, 750 will tell you about that, too).

750 was created, and is being run, by the same person who brought you Locavore, Buster Benson. Buster gets writers and the writing process. Rather than sing its (or his) praises further, cruise over and sign up. It's free. It's encouraging. It's distraction-free. It's community-oriented without being community-pushy. You get a daily email reminding you how much you've written and that you should really write today. You also get neat stats showing you how you write, what you're writing about and whether or not your writing is self- or other-oriented.

It's sweet, it's smart.

It's habit-forming in the best possible way.

*

September 1 is the beginning of a new challenge at 750. I'm signed up, sleeves rolled up and am ready to rock. Join me?

[Psst! Email, jam-packed with news, goes out tomorrow. Should you be signed up for that, too?]

Tuesday
Aug242010

On Going Viral

Last December, one of my ideas went viral. If you’ve ever been part of something going viral on the Web, what I’m about to describe will be familiar. You put an idea into the world. Whether in blog post, video or non-digital form. You release an idea. Unless you're designing it to be viral, it takes you by surprise that it catches on so quickly. You wake up the day after you’ve posted to discover, with a sharp intake of breath, it caught on.

I’m reminded of a bit of dialog from the trailer for The Social Network*

“The site got twenty-two hundred hits within two hours?” a woman asks, her voice conveys incredulity. “Thousand,” the lead character corrects, “twenty-two thousand.”

I don’t have experience with anything of my creation going viral to the extent captured in that scene. But consider what you'd have to do if it did. Here's what you'd have to do.

How Viral Impacts You

A picture of viral success.** Unless you've planned for it, overnight you have to build a support team. You can't run a viral campaign alone. You need to clear your schedule to focus on the viral message. Stoke the fire. Viral can overnight you a full-blown community, one to which you feel responsible. When my idea went viral last December I dropped everything to focus on it.

It’s against that backdrop that I present you the question a trusted advisor recently presented me. The conversation was about the social Web, and in particular how frustrated I found myself with it pre-sabbatical. I confided in her how I’ve noticed the social Web shift from a place of intimate sharing to a place of addiction where retweets and reblogs rule. Sharing is no longer sharing for the sake of sharing, I said. Sharing is done in the hopes that someday someone will do the same for us. We’ll help someone, some product or service, go viral today with the hope that they’ll help us reach our personal tipping point tomorrow.

How Viral Impacts Others: "It is a virus."

She asked, “have you ever really thought about that word. Viral? What if you’re giving someone something they don’t actually want? After all, it is a virus.” I paused to think about it. Then, out of nervousness, I said words like “opt-in” and “choice."

I left the conversation and sat with it. I thought about times I’ve sent a message to the thousands of people who have opted-in to my world, directing them to a place of sanctuary I’d discovered. A place where the comments sections were empty (before I trumpeted the horn).

I had seen that emptiness as needing to be filled. I wanted to, in my own way, cry First! Finding that undiscovered treasure and blasting it to several thousand people, I literally gave that blogger or video creator or artist a virus without their permission. I sent thousands of casual passersby (and a few active guests), to what amounts to their online living room.

Maybe the next morning they woke to find their blog traffic hit the ceiling. Or their comments section buckle under the stampede. Now, of course, as I told my adviser, if you put it on the Web, you have to expect someone might find it someday. But what about that careless aside you send out that has a ripple impact you never anticipated? I think of one one-hundred and forty character missive that nearly brought down a brand for its target audience, because someone within the target made an off-the-cuff remark.

"It is a possibility to live into"

Benjamin Zander expresses his belief that what we say matters with an illustration. At the end of this Ted Talk, he relates a story of a woman who saw her brother on a train to Auschwitz and thought only to scold him for not wearing shoes. That would be the last time she saw her brother. Zander then shares that this woman made a vow, saying, “I will never say anything that couldn’t stand as the last thing I ever say.” "Now, can we do that?” asks Zander, “No, and we’ll make ourselves wrong and others wrong, but it is a possibility to live into.” Remember our words (and bits) carry weight. Simply because they’re digital doesn’t make them carry less of an impact.

Perhaps our digital words are more likely to cause damage (even if they're less potent) because we can’t deliver them with this tone or that head tilt.

We have to pay attention to our words, our status updates, because words (regardless of the length of the statement, and whether delivered in person or digitally) matter. We must be vigilant because we have a responsibility - not just to those we're sure will hear what we say directly. We’re responsible to anyone who may experience the ripple.

(In short, everyone.)

--

*Watch the Vega Choir cover Creep, the song you hear in the trailer (off Radiohead's 1993 Pablo Honey)

** I link to the Old Spice viral campaign because it's fresh. But there's debate about whether it was a success, even virally speaking. I return to questions: does viral mean success? Why the obsession with "going viral?" And after it has gone viral, what then?

Thank you Lisa Barone, Patrick Reynolds, Ed Schipul and Heidi Wilson for reading drafts of this.

Monday
Aug162010

Interview for Women in Business: The Power of Time Off, Summer Break & Entrepreneurship

This just in. Fresh new interview with Clare Lancaster, who rocks as editor of Women in Business, Australia.

The questions:

What made you decide to take a sabbatical?

What affect has it had on your creativity? Were you inspired being away from your everyday life?

What preparations did you take in order to escape for a month? re existing client/blog/business commitments?

Are you planning to make it a regular part of your business/life? Why?

What do you advise for people who love the idea but just can't take a whole month off?

For the answers and full interview, visit Women in Business. Thank you, Clare, for the interview.

Wednesday
Aug112010

How to Take A Digital Sabbatical

Photo by one of Flickr's finest, sheri | today is pretty

You know it's time to unplug. When someone tells you they're unplugging and you feel a hint, or brick load, of jealousy, it's time. When, in summarizing your day you say, you "multi-tasked it," it's time. When you remember the contents of a blog post better than the contents of a conversation with your best friend, it's time.

If you know it's time to unplug, but you don't know how yet, I dedicate this post to you.

Folks have written provocative responses to my Digital Sabbatical. Some reviews didn't mention what I believe is a vital point:

I kept up client work during my sabbatical.

I did research for, video conferences with, and audits on, my clients. I traveled for work. I kept my day job (as an entrepreneur, I have an understanding boss). In short, being unplugged personally doesn't mean you have to be unplugged professionally, (or, for that matter, completely. See "set the container" below). As I mentioned, I made more last month than in any other month of my business - I credit the undivided attention I was able to give my work. (Designer Stefan Sagmeister has more to say on the subject - he takes one year off for every seven he works.)

What follows is an alphabetized guide to taking a sabbatical while keeping up the day job.

1. Auto-respond/post Classic, age-old trick. Akin to putting a tape playing the sound of your voice breathing under the covers before sneaking out. Set your blogs to post every Monday while you're away. Auto-respond to emails. I did neither, Ev Bogue's doing both. Either works.

2. Create Community of one. Create a community of one. Watch this video for inspiration.

3. Down Time Build down time into your schedule. Put it on the calendar. "Read for one hour and fifteen minutes." Don't budge in your commitment to yourself. (If you have an iPhone, ReadMore can help.)

4. Elicit Support Eliciting support means asking for help well in advance of falling out of the saddle. A best friend, a family member. Both. Ask for the help to stay off the Web during your sabbatical. (Although they may offer to join you, it's best they don't at the same time. If the blind lead the blind…)

5. Forgo Feedback Don't expect everyone in your life to be thrilled with your unplugging. Don't expect feedback unless you ask for it directly. Touch base with yourself by sitting. (See "Sit" below.)

6. Log It For someone addicted to the Web, suddenly dropping off can feel mighty lonesome. Keeping a log (whether 168 hours or just the first day or two) can allow calm to replace panic.

7. Reverse Culture Shock The Study Abroad department at Carolina is fantastic. Before we left for a year abroad, they has us write letters to ourselves. The letter included our impressions of how life would be abroad. When we got home from the year abroad, they sent it to us to ease reverse culture shock. Coming home is hard. Getting back online after being off is hard. Be prepared.

8. Search Limit Regardless of whether it's a complete offline experience, or just mostly, limit the number of searches you do per day. Go deeper than first page of search results when you do search. Bonus if you ask an expert on the topic instead of consulting a search engine.

9. Set the Container What's absolutely off limits? Name it. Write it down. What's iffy? What's permissible? Put this in front of yourself.

10. Sit I'm a minimalist (hello, Rowdy Kittens/NYT readers!). Still, there's one purchase I suggest you make before embarking on your sabbatical. A zafu (and if you want to get really fancy, a zabuton). I've been ordering from Carolina Morning for a decade and will happily vouch for the quality and service - if you're a true minimalist on the go, get an inflatable cushion. Then, sit daily. (Possible schedule.)

Use the time offline to take stock of your digital life. Which sites are you using to kill time (and is life long enough to spend it killing your time?), which ones are you using as a crutch? Which sites cause you pain to think about updating when you get back online? Treat Yourself well. Treat yourself well, and treat yourself. Pre-plan how you'll celebrate a week off the Web. (Then two weeks, four, more?)

My hope is that this guide will set you on the path to take a Digital Sabbatical of your own.

*

Enjoy this post? I'm glad! And I have a request to make of you.

Patrick and I would be honored to speak on the topic of mindfulness in technology at this year's SXSW conference. If you have a moment, please support our panel idea. Listen to our weekly podcast/read our daily prompts at The Mindfulist for more.

*

Finishing post on How to Take Your Own Digital Sabbatical (while rockin' your client work). What would you like to learn? Holler now.Wed Aug 11 21:40:18 via web

 

Next post, answers to the questions you asked on Twitter (or in the comments here) about Digital Sabbaticals.

Monday
Aug022010

Slow Steep: A Month of Drinking Deep

 

The first day of the sabbatical I didn't change out of my pajamas. I noted in my journal with a start at the end of the day:

In bed, legs up the wall, to read. Just realized I didn't change out of pjs all  day. 10:30P July 1

This July, during a month-long retreat, I was logged out of Twitter, no cheating. But at first I kept tweeting. The tweets were analog, hand-written. I analog tweeted every few minutes at the start of the month, then every few hours. Then every few days. By the 24th (my last analog entry) the updates came four days apart.

I started the month riding every thought wave. Any time a thought appeared I wrote it down. By the end of the month I was watching thoughts without attaching to them, and they had less of a grip on me. I was practicing moment to moment mindfulness, reading books start to finish (rather than my previously preferred simul-reading), sitting - and by the 16th of the month, something deep within me clicked.

Slow Steep

Thoughts of being productive dropped away. Thoughts of immediacy dropped away. I slowed down to drink tea - and I drank a lot of it at first. I drank so much tea I wrote a poem about it.

Slowing down

Letting the water cool from boiling

for a slow steep

the leaves unfurl

not shocked into steep,

but invited to it.

Prior to July I frequently scorched my tea. I drink loose leaf tea and would pour boiling water on it rather than let the water cool down. Impatiently wanting to "get on with being productive" I'd damage the tender leaves. Now, I let the water cool from the boil. What a difference it makes! I get a delicate steep. I delight in the full flavor profile, rather than tasting only bitterness.

At the risk of overextending the metaphor, I'm enjoying a slower steep in all engagements. Starting with engaged listening.

Engaged Listening

Definitely feel like I've died digitally. Like, if you're not producing content for the Web do you still exist? 4:09P July 7

In July I started listening differently. To enable a deeper practice, I didn't leave the house for days at a time. I did something quite out of the ordinary for me. I dropped out of social life altogether. I listened closely to myself. I listened to my internal cadences. And here's the thing. I wasn't listening for something. I was just showing up to listen.

During a Library Day in junior high we participated in a lecture on listening. Until that day, I didn't know listening was a skill. The guest teacher asked us how much we though we listened compared to how much we spoke. Most of us figured we talked 20 percent of the time and listened the other 80. Turns out we had it completely backwards. Most of us talk more than we listen. And we hear more often than listening, too. I left the class telling my classmates I wanted to grow up to be a professional listener.

This month I reconnected with that desire to listen deeply. I remembered what it's like to listen with intention. I practiced first with myself and then by turning my attention wholly onto the other (once I finally left the house. After changing out of my pjs, naturally). I found space to be still inside myself, to allow thoughts to arise, but not to engage them, while listening. I practiced engaging with myself and in conversation, with empathy.

The more I reflect on it, I'm not sure that's scalable. I know for sure that trying to listen to four thousand folks (on Twitter, for instance) all at once isn't just impossible. It's unsustainable and makes my heart race.

Pulling out completely let me reflect on how I want to be listening online and off. (The way? With discernment.)

The Pace

"The idea of the asana is to calm you to prepare you to move at a human pace, not the pace of electrons on the computer." - Judith Hanson Lasater

The pace changes the moment you log out.

You full belly breathe.

You full face smile.

You full attention write.

You can't help it. You trade in being responsive for being reflective.

Water Bugs and Deep Dives

Occurs to me we're living in a veritable minefield of unexpressed feelings and needs, as humans. My hope is each day I'll get a bit more skilled at navigating it. No time noted, July 13

My intention, going forward, is to connect engaged listening, skillful action and a human pace with my digital interactions. I want to go a step further than I went in July. In July I cultivated myself, for myself. I took deep dives. I had dreams that I actually remembered upon waking. That I slowed down to write about. 

In August, and going forward, I want to keep with the deep dives and extend to include you in this work, in the practice. I want to help you witness the water bugs skirting the surface without constantly engaging them. You don't have to answer every email. (You don't.) Who told you you did? You don't have to respond emotionally to each tweet that includes your name.

I believe it's possible to be engaged without subdividing your attention. My intention, and the line that runs through my work, will be to show you how by living it myself.

Gratitude 

I want to close by expressing my gratitude to those of you who sent postcards, letters and emails of solidarity. If you wrote and included a return address, I have written, or will write, back.

I want to thank Joel for listening to stories I'd never told, and for reflecting back to me the changes he witnessed as the month went on. I want to thank Bryce and Amber for opening their home for me to engage in playful discovery. I am grateful to Patrick for near-daily check-ins. I'm grateful to Kaileen Elise for, as I noted in my analog Twitter record, being a "fucking rockstar" and ceaselessly updating me on the state of the social Web. My gratitude goes to my clients who made this July one of my business's most profitable months to date.  

Tenderhearted Observation

Those of you with whom I engage on or off the Web, you make life what it is now. I'm filled with gratitude to have had the opportunity to pull away from my apps and digital traps for a month and take stock of what matters.

I'm equally filled with humility, curiosity and happiness to return.

I believe that to create intimate spaces in the (digital) world, we have to first be tender and intimate with ourselves. We have to cultivate spaces of retreat within ourselves, and extend from there. We have to observe our addictions with a tender heart. We have to cultivate awareness by sitting and observing ourselves.

To fully be present online, we have to be fully ourselves offline.

I can't squeeze (nor do I want to squeeze) everything I discovered in July into one post. Like tea leaves, I'll let it unfurl as it will. To give the experience time to slow steep. From now on, I'm making the decision to dive deep with you.

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