Hooked on Social Media? From Addiction to Discernment
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‘The term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user himself to his individual health, mental state, or social life.’ - Wiki definition of behavioral addiction
A word I’ve been thinking about lately. Addiction.
It’s 2010. I think it’s time the word addiction evolve. It’s too strong a word to apply to our sometimes symbiotic relationships with technology. Few computer programmers I know would self-identify as being addicted to technology. Unlike alcohol, technology doesn’t produce visible results of abuse - vomiting or a hangover, for instance. So, technology has the quality of one kind of an addiction-like hit we get when we're online/networking/social mediaizing. The hit/rush/soothing quality of our behavior is often difficult to see because we’re so close to it.
Over the past few months I’ve cut out coffee. One hit (espresso-based) eliminated made me realize the variety and nature of hits I seek each day. We need a new word. I don’t think I’m addicted to everything listed here - but I do think I need to practice better discernment, which I’ll talk more about at the end of the article.
5 Types of Modern-Day Hits (a list-in-progress)
Attention Hits
Self-explanatory. You get attention, you feel better about yourself.
This is an clumsy double-edged sword. If you spend all day in your inbox but complain about spending all day in your inbox it may be you enjoy being able to say, “I get so many emails every hour!” (What’s beneath that? Someone wants to send you an email, so you’re worth talking to!)
Clutter Hits
Oh, I love clutter! Nearly as much as sugar. To stop myself from cluttering my life up I’ve enforced rules. No buying unless it has gone on the 30 day list. No shopping to soothe myself. A poster in my closet reminding myself to breathe, be mindful, resist the clutter through micromovements. I no longer have hutches.
People Hits
One charismatic man walks into a cafe. The room stops talking to greet him, shake his hand, pat him on the back. This man gives you a People Hit. Perhaps you wouldn’t call him a friend; you still seek him out.
Social Media Hits
I pulled back to five tweets a day at the beginning of the year because I realized I was using Twitter to mellow. Pulling back helped me get to a place where I could practice self-observation. In the midst of it, it’s hard to see I was getting a 140-character hit. That’s the first level.
Level two. Scott Belsky painfully right, refers to it as “insecurity work.” How many times did what I tweet get retweeted? How many comments do I have? Googling self on a daily basis.
Sugar/Caffeine/Alcohol Hits
Sugar hits are a big personal hurdle. I only eat sweets on Saturday and Sunday. I avoid HFCS, cane sugar, everything except agave and honey during the week. Even with agave and honey I’m careful. This is partially because I’m practicing kung fu, partially because I know I’m addicted. Not in the modern-day sense of the word. In the old-school sense. I love sugar in all it’s delicious, tempting, dangerous forms.
If you’re using a hit to soothe or mellow yourself, know that that’s what you’re doing. This takes practice - and stepping away long enough to know you’re doing it. The first step is restraint. The second, discernment.
Discernment
Identifying the hit helps us become more discerning about how/when we engage it. Put up a reminder poster. Talk with someone about it. Read a book on it to better understand the nature of it.
Discernment is the ability to see things clearly for what they are. It’s a state of mind we work to cultivate. I find it both freeing and isolating (saying “no” to cupcakes in a cupcake store, for instance, feels lonely and snobbish. But I know the amount of sugar in a cupcake and I don’t want to ask my body to process that). Short-term, it sucks. Long-term, it sucks less.
Technology to help you cultivate discernment on the web
Friends/Specialists: If you’re trying to break yourself of a habit or create new way for yourself, keep loved ones in the loop
The Mindfulist: Prompts to jumpstart a daily mindfulness practice
Time Out: Turn it on, Time Out tells you when to turn off. Micro-breaks throughout your work day.
Poster Campaign: Turn a scary task into a fun one by rewriting the story you tell yourself about it
Your Own Mind: your own mind, plus a cushion (I sit on a smile) and a meditation timer is the ultimate tool
To happy, healthy, richly rewarding work on the web (and off it).
Monday, May 31, 2010
Reader Comments (4)
I love this, Gwen, but I actually think the old-fashioned word for addiction applies as well. Just as many people can drink without a problem, and even get rip-roaring drunk upon occasion without having an addition, so too can people use social media excessively without it detrimentally affecting their relationships and connection to the physical world. HOWEVER, if someone is getting into car wrecks because they can't stop tweeting while driving, or is late to meet a friend or loved one because there was just one more blog post that needed reading/writing, or gets anxious and snappy if they can't check their voicemail/FB status/Tweet stream... I would claim that is a problem by the old school definition. And stopping the behavior, for any substantial length of time, may be just as hard and require just as much support as stopping any other addictive behavior.
In addition, I'd wager that many Orthopedic doctors, back specialist, eye doctors, and those dealing with circulatory issues would say there definitely are visible results of technology abuse. I'm sure you see your share of folks in yoga who only ever sit up straight while practicing a pose.
Okay! Didn't mean to ramble on like that, but I wouldn't have said all the above if I didn't completely dig your points!
Absolutely true, Emma. Thanks for mentioning the orthopedic/opthamologists/chiropractors and the like. One reason I started using Time Out is the last time I had my eyes checked the doc suggested I look up from the computer a few times an hour. I was all HOW IN THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER? And she was all, "I dunno, but you better." So now the computer reminds me.
Oh. This is such a rich topic; thank you.
I remember reading, years ago, an excellent book by Ann Wilson Schaef called "When Society Becomes an Addict." It's a bit dated now, but no less relevant--perhaps even more so, if you take into account the addictive potentials of technologies such as those above. Her (on the surface extreme) view is that the society we live in is itself an addictive system--that it exhibits the same patterns and tendencies that someone caught in the throes of alcoholism or heroin addiction would. (An addiction, in her view, is any process over which we are powerless and that leads us to act in ways inconsistent with our personal values.) In a system such as this, it's difficult not to start exhibiting addictive traits, as one of the initial balms a pre-addiction offers is escape from something unmanageable or unpleasant or inescapable. It's a great book--eye-opening and thoughtful and refreshingly sane-making. I've been through NA and tend to get bristly when people are too free with their analogies (OMG i'm like totally addicted to Twilight!), but Wilson Schaef's understanding of both the addictive process and the value of the steps are both profound.
Anyway. That aside, I'm curious as to what you think about abstinence vs moderation approach to addiction, be it caffeine or alcohol or social media, as it's something I end up grappling with more than I'd care to admit. The extremist in me adores the black-and-white austerity of all-or-nothing, the Buddhist-human prefers the middle path. How do you decide?
I have been struggling for a way to put the "attention hits" into words so glad you did!
Just today, driving back from taking my girl to school, I was thinking about the narcissism that can run us ragged on Twitter/blog comments/etc. and it's the attention thing or that's a sign of it.
All of these are also a great way to avoid doing real creative work. I'm starting to take one week a month off line except for email once a day. And two months a year. I don't know how it will pan out money wise but I need that deep long hand crafted time to write. Love your blog and getting to know you!
I'm sugar free, dairy free, gluten free, and wine free (although not entirely whine free) and try to constantly see it as living with so love that too!