Ten Thousand Joys, Ten Thousand Sorrows, Ten Thousand Tweets
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Dear Joel,
You sometimes laugh when I tell people we met on Twitter, but you know that tiny fact matters to me...so you let it slide. I like that about you.
I like that we had our first date at Saxy's Cafe. That you asked me out to lunch because you wanted to "learn about mindfulness." But you're the one who has ended up teaching me about mindfulness. You are aware of life as it flows by. And for me, Twitter is a part of that stream. It's people live reporting their baby being born, women telling of their husband's cheating on them (and locking down their stream moments later), it's learning to create the perfect cup of French pressed coffee. It's people reporting on the mundane in their lives - it thrills me. I live in the details. You live in the patterns.
We both do both from time to time.
I believe life is made up of "the ten thousand joys and the ten thousand sorrows." There are certain truths we can't escape: we will suffer, we will die. And sometimes knowing that paralyzes me. In the same moment, in a flash, I'm reflecting on the joys again. I'm wrapped up in your arms during a 360 turn in salsa. I'm smelling the swordfish you're cooking in the kitchen. I'm listening to you sing a Jack Johnson song.
Just three of the ten thousand joys.
In a month, we'll be married. It will be a joyful day but I believe it will be tinged with some sorrow, as all of life is. Cultivating equanimity in the face of the odds in creating a strong marriage...that's more important to me than the word, "wedding," and all that cultural baggage associated with it. I want to focus on creating something that will continue weathering the ups and downs. We couldn't have one without the other, could we?
Some days I wish we had ten thousand days to explore together. Ten thousand pots of tea to share.
Let's start with today.
Yours,
Gwen
"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." -Anne Bradstreet
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Reader Comments (12)
Hey Gwen, Your post is possibly the most beautiful thing I have read in a long, long time and it is so very true. I wish you and Joel all the strength, courage and love to weather the sorrows and all the time to celebrate the joys.
Nicely written. Congrats.
I remember that video... We were relaxing for a few in the Techstars offices, taking a few to enjoy a bit of tea. Just getting to know each other, really. It's amazing how far we have come since that day, just about a year ago. It is truly a privilege to be a part of your life, and to have you as a part of mine. I look forward to more tea pots, more dances, more (bad) games of frisbee, more drives into the mountains, more flights to boring, domestic airports and exciting, exotic foreign airports. There will be ups and down. No question. They are past, they are here, they are coming. But isn't that life? Isn't life full of ups and downs? It's about how we approach them. Will they be harder together? Yes... and easier, too. We will get through the hard times, and enjoy the good times. Note: those won't always be different. It's about growing. We can do that. Together. I enjoy it right now, and look forward to more of it in the future. I love you, my darling. Thanks for being my rockstar! And my Leo. I love you. JPW
You two are making me cry! I am such a sucker for a good love story. All the best!
How beautiful! I love this - and so glad I didn't comment so early that I missed Joel's equally thoughtful and loving addendum. Such joy when two people come together which such joy! I think so many people confuse artificial or temporal happiness with real and abiding joy. You guys have totally figured out so much about life, love, and what really sustains us. We all look forward to watching the continuing bloom of your great romance!
"Some days I wish we had ten thousand days to explore together. Ten thousand pots of tea to share." Okay... that's when I started crying. Love
Standing on the other side of ten years from where you are, I can see that you're getting an excellent start. :o) Take each moment, each step, each day mindfully, and you will be able to see what a wonder a truly good, strong marriage is. There is so much growth, so much understanding, such incredible wholeness . . . and the words don't do it justice. Thank you for sharing all of this--it's so rare to see the good, strong, healthy kind of love shared like this. Dysfunction so often steals the spotlight. I hope your wedding day is full of wonderful memory-making moments, and that the two of you are able to live a long, happy life together, committed to one another, and to working together to see the best of what's to come.
Gwen, I walk around with a bit of broken heart always. Mainly because I haven't ever been in a true partnership. And what you wrote makes me believe that they exist more than anything I've read or seen in a while. For real(s). :) I also love it because I do think the sorrows that come with this area of my life are just as beautiful as those high moments. All so well stated here, thanks for sharing!
What a lovely post. Coupled with the video, it was perfect.
wow... gwen, i've been reading your blog for a while. you always make me think. this time you made me teary. i've been married 21 years to my best friend. sounds like you're about to marry yours.
Long time listener, first time caller.. This really cheered me up. Just what I needed. Thanks1
Gwen! You are too sweet! Reminds me of my almost 8 year marriage. We gotta remember the joys and the sorrows and know that they come and go all too fast. Cherish every day.