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So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn't sit for even one, that's the journey of the warrior. - Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart

In college when I wasn't in the library you'd find me listening to feminist folk rocker Ani DiFranco. On the weekends I'd go home and start arguments with my grandfather about how he should take me seriously. (Right, there are skillful ways and unskillful ways.) Once, he called me a Femi-Nazi and there was (how to put this lightly) a blow up. The closest I ever hope to get to war. One of DiFranco's song lyrics goes, "every tool is a weapon...if you use it right." I used my gender studies lessons as weapons - but I was using them at the wrong time, in the wrong way, with the wrong audience.

More than a decade of meditation and yoga practice later, I still make mistakes with my weapons. My short temper has nearly gotten me into a few alley brawls. I can be ego driven and sitting is often the only way through. We all have our weapons we reach for in times of battle - some more effective than others. But we know it's all part of the practice.

In Shambhala Buddhism (and to some degree, yoga) there's a focus on how to train for battle. One way to train is to, at all times, cultivate a warrior spirit*. We must be ready for anything. Gretchen Rubin's new book, The Happiness Project, while not a Buddhist book, per se, explores these topics.

- The book doesn't skirt difficult subjects. In one particularly moving passage she and her husband head off to update their will. Rubin writes, "although it sounds supremely unromantic, rarely have I felt such love for [her husband] Jamie as I did in that lawyer's office." I wrote, in the margins, "annual couple review?"

- Gretchen Rubin is a hustler as defined by Jeffrey Kalmikoff: hustlers are expert life-multitaskers. They recognize that ideas or opportunities can arise at any time, and they’re always prepared. Hustlers work smarter and harder.

- There are no pat answers here on how to "be happy." There are only possibilities explored in a simultaneously academic and personal environment. 

- In other books on happiness (I've read more than my fair share) the authors often attempt to convince you they have a superior grasp on happiness. This author doesn't. She hopes you'll learn from her questions and quirks.

- My favorite section shows up on pages 184-185. I scribbled, "Yes!! Creativity in a nutshell!" at the top of the page. Among other insights, Gretchen shares: Pouring out ideas is better for creativity than doling them out by the teaspoon."

- This book is built for maximum interaction. So is her blog. So is her "tool box" on her site. So are the interviews she posts - and I'm lucky to have been on the receiving end of her interview questions (after which she sent me an advanced copy of the book along with a hand-written note). Her questions are thought-provoking. They ask us to self-reflect.

- In today's announcement she concludes by promoting another author. She could have ignored that other author's release. Instead, she keeps with the spirit of her observation, "One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself." In mentioning another author in the promotion of her book, all ships rise.

I think Gretchen will agree that it's about taking what you've read and deciding what, if any, is true in your experience. Since I finished this book, I've started reading two books she recommends: Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking and a biography on Benjamin Franklin. And I have been taking notes, daily, on how to cultivate an "atmosphere of growth."

The book serves as a bell of mindfulness - a reminder to come back to the work and relationships and interactions that support your happiness. This isn't a magic bullet.

This is a tool in your arsenal you can employ to develop your warrior self.

*Read anything by Pema Chödrön to get a grip on these concepts