Picture this. You're in a room with fifty other people. You're not wearing much clothing. You're all breathing hard. Your face is tense. Everyone in the room is wearing a similar expression to yours. You're looking into a huge mirror. You're putting your body into awkward positions. And holding them. You're sweating and your heart rate is up.

What am I describing here? Does this sound like a stressful situation?

It might sound like it, even though it's supposed to be the opposite of stressful. It's a yoga class - one that I've found myself in a lot over the decade I've been practicing. Sometimes I'm at the front of the room, teaching and watching as you stress out. Sometimes I'm in the class as a student, breathing deeply, "trying to relax." (A paradox in its own right.)

It's not just yoga class. It's the drive to the office. It's the coffee shop. It's the grocery store. Our biggest "competitor" isn't other people. We're competing with ourselves at the checkout counter, checking our inboxes constantly and yes, even on the mat. (Perhaps especially on the mat.)

Here are three ways to work with your number one competitor. (You.)

Close Your Eyes

This post isn't beating you up for being in competition with yourself. That wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, would it?

It's about taking a moment to realize you're probably your biggest competitor. Not the guy in the cubicle over. He's just doing his best to make it through today, too. The moment you realize you're in competition with yourself is the moment you can relax around it.

How does a yoga teacher help you do this? He takes a class of experienced yoga practitioners and says: "close your eyes." Even the most basic standing posture with both feet on the mat shifts. A flow you've done hundreds of times becomes fresh. And the competitive voice quiets down. The moment you close your eyes you experience groundlessness and present moment awareness. You can do this with anything. Take the elevator up to the fourth floor of the office. Close your eyes. See if you can make it to the office with your eyes closed. Close your eyes and then do something ordinary.

Elevate the mundane.

Laugh

For those of us who are more competitive, this is a tough one. We take life very seriously. One way to counteract this is by cultivating friendships that help you laugh. Even if they don't have as much obvious "personal development potential." 

Take a look at your five closest friendships. How do they feed you - how do you feed them? Does at least one of those friendships help you laugh? (If the relationship does feed you and makes you laugh, remember to thank your friend next time you see her.)

Relax Your Jaw

A recent trip to the dentist's office revealed some surprising news. I learned I sometimes clench my teeth during sleep. How did the dentist check? She put her fingers in my ears and told me to move my jaw back and forth. She asked if I heard a popping noise on either side. I did. My right side. Try it for yourself now.

Learning to relax your jaw isn't easy. It's like remembering to breathe deeply. Let it be a mantra. Ask yourself during the day: "Are you relaxing your jaw?"

Are you your biggest competitor? If you are, how can you loosen up around this notion of yourself? Can you close your eyes, laugh and relax your jaw? Can you allow yourself to come out of a posture in class from time to time (even, or particularly if, you're the teacher)? Is it worth it to go through life holding your breath to get to the top?

What happens at the top? And if your body is in a shambles, how fun will it be up there?

Relax, you're doing fine. It's all unfolding as it should.