What Resistance Teaches Us
"I just don't get that tech stuff," is a response I frequently hear after explaining what I do. (In 140 characters or less, naturally). Whether at a party or in a cafe, this response is hard. It's hard to know what to do with it. I've tried it all,
...tell me more.
...what do you want to "get"?
...can you ____ on a computer?
...does someone you know do all your computing for you?
...can I give you some reasons why you might try?
There's a built-in defense in, "I just don't get that [tech/social media/you-name-it] stuff." the second half of the statement we don't say but that exists is --- "...and I don't want to."
Resistance is healthy in moderation. Think about your physical body. When you're working out and hit an edge your body lets you know with resistance. "Nuh uh," it says, "you're not taking this hamstring any further than that this afternoon." Resistance rocks when you've caught a cold and your body resists further infection.
But how important is resistance in our minds?
Each time I resist a new idea or product or service, I try to remember to revisit it later. To make friends with the resistance. Here's a recent example:
The iPad announcement. Heard Steve Jobs say, "iPad," and couldn't believe they'd named it that. Disbelief followed frustration which bordered on (who am I kidding, I was pissed) fury. What I knew immediately to be true is this. I was resisting the name of the product - not the technology/the solutions it promises. I sat with it. A few weeks after the announcement I was ready to put down the money to buy one. To learn how to build for it.
Had I listened only to the message I was telling myself I'd still be resisting it in three years when the world has migrated off laptops and onto iPads.
If you're resisting it, whatever it is, step away and ask why. If it's tech and you "fear tech," ask why. Just "not getting it" is an opportunity to learn. The public library is stocked with books on technology - the basics on up. You can learn "that tech stuff," but don't expect others to convince you of its value - or to convince you to put in the hours you'll have to to learn. (I don't know even one computer programmer who sat down, cracked their knuckles and said, "I got it," their first day coding.)
If you're resisting because you don't want to participate, say so. It's okay to choose a life without technological interference (to the degree that such a life is possible). But if you're in business at all (and want to grow) you can't pass off technology and social web work as a fad. Technology, the social web, texting (or some form of micro-, high-impact, opt-in communication) is here.
Observe the dimensions of your resistance. Meditate on the source of your resistance ("But I just don't get that meditation stuff!) Sit with your resistance and realize it's not you. It's informing a moment you inhabit, but that moment is guaranteed to change.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Reader Comments (8)
I love the way you think. I'm going to have to be mindful of my resistance in the next few days to really understand it, but my current (very topical) understanding of my own resistance is this: the things I resist the most often become the experiences/ideas/challenges that provide me with the most valuable growth.
Great post! Resistance is such an interesting and complex topic - multidimensional. Great to talk about the value of moving through resistance physically and mentally. My physical resistance is frequently the doorway to my mental resistance. Love this quote: "It is informing a moment you inhabit, but that moment is guaranteed to change."
I hear you! Resistance is so very often rooted in fear: fear of feeling stupid; fear of not achieving one's dreams, etc. I find it helpful to voice the resisting idea or fear (say it out loud) and by putting it out there it loses its power. I also find it helpful to find friends with an overlapping resistance or aversion and together we push and coach ourselves beyond it.
It makes me think of a book by Stephen Pressfield called The War of Art. He says: "Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work... It will assume any form, if that's what it takes to deceive you." Every once in a while I have to remember that resistance is a map, I can learn from it. Thanks for the reminder.
Awesome timing to read this hours after a chakra workshop in which I pushed into some resistance I definitely didn't want to experience. I say "into" because I sure as hell haven't worked through it yet. I think that's going to come with some adrenaline-pushing workouts like runs and walks, ha. Anyway - great post, lady. I love that it addresses the resistance of technology as well as is applicable for life in general. (Seeing as I embrace technology, I'm taking this with the latter :))
I resisted Twitter at first because it seemed like it was more or less something for cell phones -- more specifically, cell phones featuring unlimited text messaging plans. I finally came around to Twitter after a friend of mine began feeding her tweets into her LiveJournal. Overall, I'm glad I came around. Has it become my favorite? No, but I do see the usefulness of the application.
Like Kylie, I love the way you think and how you turn a very common topic into a teaching moment. It is going beyond the first reaction and understanding why it is so.
Such an important message, Gwen! I love the way your mind works and I truly appreciate your writing style. Thank you for offering so much value to your readers. Your content is top-notch!
P.S. Now I want to get an iPad too!