3 Stories of Mindfulness: What we give our attention to is who we become
Daruma: Goal-Setting Japanese Style
Shooting in Boulder
Left Hand Canyon looks like the set of an old Western film. Minus the cowboys and horses. As we pulled into the parking lot I noticed someone had tagged the entrance sign. I also noticed it reminded me of the parking lot I parked in during high school. Pickup trucks, gun racks. Camouflage.
Today was the day I was going to learn how to shoot a gun. Before my friend Theron and I set out on this adventure we'd filled up a pail with recyclables. Plastic bottles that once held milk, water, energy drinks. As we collected our plastic skeet, I shared my misgivings. Would shooting a gun bring out some hitherto latent violent tendency in me? "No," Theron assured me, "violence isn't something that happens just because you're holding a weapon." We pressed forward. At the very least, this would be an adventure.
After Theron demonstrated, the hard work began. You put the bullets in like this. Just so. You stand like this, this foot forward. You extend your arms more. You find your target. You inhale, then exhale. And at the end of the exhale, you pull the trigger. "It's just like a taking a photo," Theron explained, "wait until you're at the end of the exhale and you're completely focused. That's when you pull the trigger."
While it wasn't exactly natural, and I didn't hit any bottles I aimed for (though I did hit a few things) - it was an afternoon of attention paying - of mindfulness cultivation.
Breathing in Tokyo
Patrick Oancia taught yoga like a character out of a Mad Max film. It wasn't just the sweat, of which there was a lot. It was also the way he strolled through his classes. Watching us. Watching as we sweat and gritted our teeth and sighed. He would say things like, "the quality of your practice depends on the quality of your breath."
And his body, ripped and tatted as it was, made us believe him. His classes were like no yoga class I've taken before or since. He'd turn up the music to thunderous levels. Your ear drums rang as you lengthened the space between your ribs. You'd be breathing and sweating and he'd sidle up along you, in your blind spot, and say something about "going deeper."
Eventually, I stopped watching other students - and even the teacher - during practice. I learned to harness and ride my breath. I began to understand for myself that the quality of the practice depended on the quality of my breath. Something I've discovered in the decade plus I've been a yoga and Soto Zen practitioner. The quality of our life depends on the quality of our attention.
At the risk of underscoring the obvious, what we give our attention to is who we become.
Sitting in Fire
Years ago while living in Chapel Hill I watched the film Why has Bodhi-Dharma Left for the East? In it, an old Zen master, aware his time of death has arrived, lights his funeral pyre and sits in it to meditate until he dies. The scene is peaceful - and it is one that has stayed with me for many years. How could someone walk willingly into a fire, sit and meditate?
It's an unanswerable question. And yet it's one we have to answer each day.
*
I recently wrote a review of The Happiness Project. In it I spoke about the importance of cultivating a warrior spirit. This sounds esoteric at best.
We're not warriors in the traditional sense of the word. And yet. We wake up each morning and face battles. We battle traffic on the way to work. Or we battle with the person behind the counter who refuses to let us make a gift return. We watch newscasters and pundits punt theories on the latest tragedy story. We do battle with ourselves - beating ourselves up for shortcomings or neuroses or failures.
I do. I notice it most when I realize I haven't breathed deeply in a few hours.
The Practice
This year I'm committing to helping cultivate awareness in myself - and helping you do the same. The kind of awareness that you experience when you're holding a weapon. It is an unflinching understanding that this moment could change everything. You could hurt yourself or someone else. Life asks you to pay close attention. Knowing that each moment really is it. It has all your yesterdays and tomorrows in it.
The Prompts
Jan 1 Resolutions? No resolutions?
Jan 2 Passwords. Take time today to update your passwords. Make them bells of mindfulness, action-oriented words.
Jan 3 Transition points. Notice doorways, stairwells, getting into and out of your car.
The Mindfulist has launched and has new prompts now.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Reader Comments (29)
So excited for this! Love the password idea -- brilliant.
How wonderful! How timely. Mindfulness and self-care (those two concepts are so entertwined) are the themes of my New Years Resolutions.
As always, thank you for your thought-provoking posts.
LOVE it. I may not be able to do a month at Karme Choling but I can do this. You rock.
Oh, I love this. I've been working on being more present - this will really help me focus on it. Thank you!
I think this is wonderful. Being more mindful is something I have been practicing the past two or three months. While not always easy, I am doing it.
I, too, really love the password idea!
It never ceases to amaze me how, when I pull all the junk away, "mindfulness" as the channel for solutions to whatever is challenging me currently is at the root. Just paying attention. Not trying to take away the discomfort or fix it--just paying attention.
A daily posting is a bit much for me. I'll be very busy for the first few weeks/months of the new year tryin to get a book deal.
However, I'll still follow along and read what y'all are sayin.
Love it - so excited for this!
This is terrific, Gwen. I'm so excited. I was getting sad today that we were done with the Best of '09 Challenge. This is just the sort of practice I can use now.
Thank you, Gwen, for your generosity. You are helping all of us in such a big way!
Oh Gwen! This looks amazing and I can't wait to participate with you and everyone else.
I wanted to get involved with the 'Best of 09' blog posts but I instead started looking at goal setting for '10 thanks to your exceptional blog post.
Thanks so very much for this opportunity.
This has been so intensely on my mind of late, evidenced by my exploration of it through my present tense project, and I am so grateful that you are leading this effort.
Thank you.
Looking foward to continuing to move along in mindfulness.
delivered as promised! i've often said that creating change begins with creating awareness. i'm really looking forward to being a part of this project this year. thank you from the bottom of my changing, growing heart =)
dear gwen,
I'm very interested in seeing this unfold. I'm recommending it to a group of friends who also may find it beneficial.
I have just begun practicing tai chi (qi gong) and am finding it incredibly powerful -- i understand in the bones of my self what you mean about harnessing your breath. i am learning to do this now and it's hard to put into words the steadying effect it is having on my mind.
peace and good things to you & yours in this new year.
best,
mari.
I'm really looking forward to continuing with prompts. Bestof2009 was an enjoyable and revealing exercise. This is sure to be a great way to get my 2010 writing muscles loosened. Thanks Gwen.
What a fantastic project, I'm looking forward to participating. Thank you!
"The quality of our life depends on the quality of our attention." That leapt out at me from the midst of this stunning post. Once again, you share your insight and we are better for it. I'm so utterly stoked with this new project you have devised, and for owning this new mantle you find yourself wearing. It fits you well, and I will support it, you, and #mindfulife wholeheartedly. You have been integral to the shift of focus, of attention, in my life through the #best09 challenge and I'm grateful and excited to have you, and #mindfulife, as companions on this road upon which I'm venturing forth.
I have a common password I use (and no, I won't tell you what it is...) that instantly makes me think of who I am inside. Thank you for reminding me to look at it and be with it.
I would love you to look at people you surround yourself with. I know that I am the average of the 5 people I spend most time with. I am always minful of who I am becoming in any moment. Living in the present and totally being with it.
Definitely psyched for this one!
Thank you Gwen. Just what I needed!
Love the word play of "mindfulist"
Be well
CJ
oh gwen. i wish i read this earlier today. i was having a bad day. looking back at it, i just really needed to take a deep breath.
am excited for these prompts. am excited for this challenge. am excited that i found your blog last month - it's been so calming, informative, and fun. you rock. thanks for rocking.
I've lurked long enough. 2010 is the year for living out loud. In order to do that one must breathe and be mindful of so many things inside and out. Looking forward to the new blog that launches today. I guess I'm announcing my personal launching this year ;)
I love love love this idea. I have a short list of big resolutions this year, and one of them is to make time to actively practice mindfulness for at least 15 minutes a day. It probably sounds really small, but micromovements are the only way I can get anything done. The first three prompts have already given me so much to think and write about; I am looking forward to the daily inspiration this will sow. Can't wait to see the new site!
Lovely! Mindfulness is a wonderful practice!
I would like to participate! How do I subscribe to the new blog?
Marjory