How to write non-digital thank you notes
What follows is a step-by-step guide to writing thank you notes of the non-digital variety. From getting organized to getting the notes in the mail.
Thank You Note Writing 101
This year I realized I'd amassed quite the stationery collection. For many years I hoarded stationery thinking I'd use it - but then never got around to it. Have you ever bought stationery and when you went to use it, thought, "this is too pretty to send?" I have.
Fifteen years later that Lisa Frank unicorn (stationery) is still waiting to fly. Don't let this be you.
Get Organized: Offline
I decided to get organized. But not for me. For everyone I want to thank. And when I dig deep, I realize that's not a small number. But I'm not daunted, I'm inspired.
It turns out the first part of writing more, and better, thank you notes is getting organized.
This year I moved my writing instruments into a common area. (As you can see it was still a bit messy.)
I made a list of everything I needed to get a card written and sent. Including personalized stickers, pens and stamps. Miss one vital ingredient and the process goes limp. Forget to stock stamps in the station? It adds (not a scientific number) weeks to the process of getting the note sent.
This box cost me $13.99 at my local organization store. And for that small investment (about what I'd spend on yet another! box of cute note cards) I was organized enough to want to get down to the business of note writing.
Get Organized: Online
This year, at Sarah J Bray's suggestion, I set up Highrise. It does more than help you manage your contacts. It ties in your contact's Twitter stream so you can see what's current for them (fodder for writing your note). It also let's you track when you want to send a note - you can set up mobile reminders to do so.
Why me?
Wonder if this is relevant to you if you're not yet a professional? Or if you're job seeking?
If you're a student you can start now, organizing your professors. Think about it this way - one day you'll want a letter of recommendation. Won't you want to know how to reach your favorite professor? And, more importantly, won't they want to help out if you've thanked them through the semesters? (Hint: yes, they will.) I wasn't disciplined enough to write these sorts of notes in college - if you are, start now.
About five percent of job seekers perform the "simple yet crucial ritual" of writing a thank you note after an interview.
Time Yourself
Give yourself fifteen or twenty minutes a set when writing notes. I find that if I try to "knock them all out" in an hour, I lose my freshness.
Be Specific
The word on the street is you don't start by saying "thank you." You start by letting the recipient of the card know the impact their kindness made on you.
Send Now
I have waited so long to send cards that I've forgotten what's inside and opened it to discover it had been more than a year since I wrote it. That leads to re-writing and obviously, delays the expression of thanks.
Annualize It
This teacher sends a greeting card to every one of his former students - annually. Could you put, "write thank you notes" on your calendar? That way if a few fall through the cracks of the year (as they will), you still get to it.
Limit Yourself
Stop yourself from buying more stationery until you've used up what you have. Good luck with this one, it's a challenge. But a worthy one.
Visualize Yourself
It helps me visualize myself in some bygone era. A lady like the Queen writing for sport. This makes it fun and elevates it from a chore into an art form.
Thank Yourself
If you've gotten to the end of this post and want to get started now, just get started. It's great sport.
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What's your best thank you note writing advice? What compels you to sit down and write your notes of thanks? What's the best thank you note you've ever received?
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Saturday, December 26, 2009
Reader Comments (18)
Good advice, but no mention of what it takes to get the note card in the mail, or what to do to be inspired to hold a pen again. And what about licking the stamp?? Eww.
This is brilliant. I love the fact that everything is all in one place. I have a semi- organized place but this has inspired me to step it up a notch. I hear you about the stationary. I tend to hoard the beautiful cards. I am going to work on letting those go out into the universe. Everyone needs beauty in their lives.
Thanks.
Fantastic article and a great reminder. This is going to make thank you's so much fun.
I love it! Thank you!!
Great post! You know what adds not weeks, but months or just plain infinity to getting the note out? Not having any stamps. I have a block about buying them. I go out JUST to purchase a book of stamps, and come home with milk instead. In fact, going out to buy stamps is the best way for me to get my grocery shopping done. I haven't found the item that I'm more resistant to than I am to stamps - if I did, I'd go out to buy it and come home with the stamps.
Anyway, I've found a great solution for this: buy the stamps online. usps.com. And if you're mail-resistant, there's only one kind to buy. It's the Forever stamp. They raise the postage rates like, every other week. Once you get into adding-a-3-cent-stamp territory, it's over. So pay the extra for the Forevers.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that waiting for the stamps to come in the mail will delay getting the note out. If you're like me, you'll just spend weeks saying, "I need to go buy stamps." And all you'll have is lots of milk, and an addressed, sealed envelope with no stamp.
I should send you a thank-you note for this post! I am so glad to see this. My mother always made me write thank-you notes for birthday gifts that relatives and friends sent, and I always hated it. But now I send gifts to friends and never hear a word. It's not that I need someone to get down on their knees in gratitude for my thoughtfulness -- but I would like to know a) that the gift arrived and b) that civility is not dead. You're absolutely right about all the obstacles to getting it done, especially the stamps -- oh, the humanity! Electronic communication is amazing and wonderful and useful and I wouldn't give it up for anything, but there is definitely a place for a well-written, PAPER thank-you note.
I'm a huge believer in the thank-you note (especially after a job/internship interview) -- Christmas cards are another great way to thank someone at the end of the year. :)
Does anyone else put off writing thank-you notes because they can't think of what to say, or fear sounding ridiculous?
Someone once told me about her system for gift-giving.
She never does Christmas gifts for her friends. Instead, she thinks about them all year and on their birthday, sends her friends a gift honoring their birth month. In that way, she doesn't have the pressure to come up with something good for everyone all at once. And her friends are always impressed that she found just the right gift for where they happen to be in their lives. She said she tries to make the gift tie in to where they're at in their lives right now.
Pretty splendid way to do it, don't you think?
My parents really drove home the whole 'thank you' note thing at a really young age, making sure that birthday and Christmas thank-you's were sent within days of receiving the gifts. That's a practice that's stuck with me, though I've never been so organized about it! I love your tips for anyone, but I'm in the pack-up-and-move process right now and this is a great way to approach what stationary and sets I do have before I move. Thanks for the reminders!
Me again. I'm looking into Highrise and it's no doubt a great tool, but I don't understand the need for various amounts of storage. What kind of files might one store on that system?
A few of us have been talking about this since I shared your post on Twitter Gwen, so I am not surprised these comments are piling up for you. Perfect timing today.
When I first read this I thought, “something every parent should teach their children this day-after Christmas” but truth is that I need a much better system for me, myself, and I... for me this also is another way of thinking about “Boxing Day” for as Deb pointed out (on Twitter) the beauty of your box is in the mobility of it --- you can get away from your computer and all other distractions. It is a beautiful day here in Hawai‘i where I could be writing a few notes out on my lanai right now...
Haven't looked at Highrise for a while. Had fallen out of using it and should check it out again, for I am sure the 37 Signals team has made several upgrades since my first trial run there. So you've added 2 things to my 2nd Day of Christmas List ~ mahalo.
My parents also set me to writing thank you notes after all birthdays and Christmas at a young age. I dreaded it for years, but now I value the practice as a way to connect with the gift or service someone offers you with the value of who they are to you in a relationship. Also, Dan Stroup was my 7th grade teacher and I still receive a hand written note from him on my birthday, no matter where I am! A beautiful inspiration!
Writing more "snail mail" to express my appreciation was my new years goal for this year. I failed miserably (by my standards). Now that I'm in CR and mail is a joke here I may have to wait until we move again (although I've sent mail out with all our visitors thus far...I may send some with you when you're here). Great post. I hope being organized helps your taking action!
i start most every day by penning 3 thank you notes - and you're right: it's so much easier when everything, including stamps and pens and who/what list, is ready to pick up and write. i carry a smaller pouch with me at all times because you just never know when you're gonna' have some found time (read: having to wait on something/somebody). and i've found that sending thank you notes is like tossing a boomerrang: the more you send, the more reasons you find to send notes. great post.
Like many here, I was raised to do this, and I really value when I receive one. To Carrie, I use a very simple formula when writing one:
-opening sentence, very simple, "I hope you are..."
-how much I loved the thingamajig, when I used it, where it sits in my house, why it was just the thing, as appropriate
-thanks, it was such a kind thought, generous gift, whatever
-a little snippet of news
-friendly sign off
Oh, and I don't let myself use the present until I've written the note, that's the real kicker. I have more difficulty with thank-yous for parties, accomodation and dinners - I procrastinate until it becomes stupid. And I am always writing thankyous for inspiring or mentoring, but only in my head - that's one of my goals for 2010.
Oo stationery! Of course I love this post!
I've written thank you notes since I could first write and continue to write them. Birthdays and Christmas feel incomplete until I've written all my thank you letters. I have lots of writing paper, note cards, pens.
I can see a trip to Paperchase in the not too distant future. They do great little boxes and tiny cases with handles - perfect for a portable stationery kit!
Nicely timed article Gwen! Happy holidays!