Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. -Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

During a recent interview I was asked if I’d rather make ten new friends online or one in real life.

Think about that question. Really. Would you prefer to gain ten new online friends (or followers) or one new real life friend?

I said what any good interviewee would: that it’s impossible to choose one over the other because both kinds of connection are vital to community growth.

When I consider my friends, both online and off, I think of the connections between them as loose/shallow and deep. There are people that I know on Twitter and Facebook that I have a deep connection with even though we’ve never met in person. Even though I may be inferring a lot about y’all from your blog posts, Tweets and Flickr stream I think I know you.

Following on the heels of the “how many” question was the “how much” question…How much of the Real You do you share with the world online? These questions led to three experiments and a dialog that opened up wider than three people sitting in a cafe could have had. Over the last few weeks I’ve been experimenting and want to share with you what I’ve found (and yes, the experiments are still very much under way).

Experiment 1

Twitter Quick Poll: What percentage of “you” do you think you really share online/on twitter/social networks?
Hypothesis: Most people will think they share very little. Between 2-20%.

Findings:
For three hours after I asked the question, I received more than forty answers to that question [the bulk of the answers were on Twitter (40+), but a few came through on Facebook (3)]. The range of how much you think you share was from .0007% to “all of it” (see all the results).

I strive for honesty in my online social life and agree with one twitter friend (I know her IRL, too), amblass who said “100% of what I share is real, but I do not share 100%. Must have boundaries, esp. w/ family, friends, etc.”

How much do you think you share?

Experiment 2

Twitter Quick Poll: Do you accept a “friend” on Facebook that maybe totally hated your guts (can’t believe we said that!!) in high school?

Hypothesis: Figured it’d be a split between those thinking I should accept and those thinking I shouldn’t.

Findings:
Turns out, this has happened to a number of people. He/she hated you in high school or college, but now they want to be Facebook/Myspace/Twitter “friends.” What to do?

People are passionate about the question. A veritable can of worms that popped open.

I discovered that, unsurprisingly, some people were more magnanimous than others. Many said that they had changed in the ten years that had passed since they graduated, so they figured their past enemies had, too. In the end I friended the person on Facebook, deciding that it’s better to let bygones be bygones. I can’t say I’m as forgiving all of my Twitter friends, but I do trust your opinions.

Tip! Any of the answers that came in to me publicly I “favorited” so I could reference them later.

Experiment 3

Twitter Two Fer: I tweeted, “Trying an experiment. 2 for 1 dealie. @ me today + if I’m not following you, I’ll follow you + one of the people you follow… <3 ”

Hypothesis: I’d find some cool people, if nothing else.

Findings:
My friends on Twitter have cool friends! People liked playing along and it felt like a game of global tag. I’ve made new friends from the experiment and would love to try it again. If you trust someone (and follow them) and I follow you, there’s a good chance I’ll like your friends, too. My followers went up in direct proportion to the number of new people I followed. The joys of the attention economy!

Conclusions:

People often refer to the New Media world as “one big experiment.” If that’s the case, why not experiment with it?!

I don’t believe we build community. You are not a Community Builder or any variant of that title, even if that’s what your business cards say.

You participate in community, you help facilitate dialog, you teach, yes. If you see yourself as a builder, you see yourself as hovering above or just beyond the community. The moment you begin to see yourself as a Community Participant and you play, experiment and ask questions, that’s when the real fun begins. Community emerges from a sense of playfulness, from asking questions and experimenting.

Try New Things!

This I cannot stress enough. If corporations feel like they’re watching this “new generation” of whippersnappers from afar, it’s because they are.

There aren’t multiple answers to the question “How do I get started?” There is only one answer: start. Be fearless and have fun. You’ll make mistakes. That’s part of the fun.

Soon enough you’ll be like a friend that recently reached out on Facebook saying only: “Heard you speak at BlogHer. Now a twitter addict. Thanks. I think.” Yep, that about sums it up.

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More questions than answers:
Slackmistress: From Geek to Chic?
A New Perspective on Twitter: Zen