Yesterday Joel was schooling me about how he believes men “trade in favors.” He explained that men keep an internal tally of what they’ve done for you and what you’re going to have to do for them in order to balance the scales. I was like, “are you serious!?”

I honestly don’t think about my life in terms of I give you X and you now owe me Y, so after reminding me that businessmen often have an “implicitly understood bank of favors,” I told him how I think creative types differ in thinking about this emotionally charged issue. I talk about how I perceive moms and I realize each mom is different, but here’s the metaphor I used when talking with Joel.

It’s all about coffee cups.

When a mom sees a coffee cup and notices a ring forming beneath it she extrapolates that there’ll be a stain to clean up later if it’s not taken care of now. Whether or not you (let’s say you’re her kid) left the cup there she’ll usually pick it up, wipe up the ring and wash out the cup. I realize this is a very broad generalization, but I think this is an automatic response to “tiny messes” by caretakers, moms or dads or anyone maintaining a home. One thing’s for sure, it’s a requirement for keeping a tidy home.

Let’s say mom, in this example, decides one day that she’s not going to pick up your coffee cup after you (”I’m done cleaning this house until you all start appreciating the hard work I do around here!!” Sound familiar?). The stain, she knows, will likely develop into a bigger problem.

One that’ll require some elbow grease and bleach to get up.

She could ask you to do it, for sure, but that could be interpreted as nagging. Why wait for the stain to settle in when it could ruin her countertop? She pulls out a rag with an exasperated huff and cleans up your tiny mess. Then she moves on to the next tiny mess. I don’t think she really stops to think “you owe me one, kid” each time she cleans up your mess. Pretty sure my mom didn’t…it would lead to resentment, no matter how you slice it.

Your mom or dad or primary caretaker (in my case, from eleven on, it was my grandmother) does this out of love.

Turning on the “Pay Me” Switch

I’ve known women and men who undervalue their work. Most people that have had trouble with this have exhibited highly creative and occasional highly emotional characteristics. In almost every case, the folks that demonstrate an inability to value their work (self most definitely included) tend to be strong creative types.

CreativeBits.org’s Ivan has an excellent piece called “Say No to Free Work!” that is an absolute must-read for Creatives and specifically, Designers. He says,

“Our skills as designers were shaped by many years of mostly hard work. It didn’t come for free. Being able to transform ideas, feelings and messages into visual designs is not something we should take as granted. You should never forget that the skills you possess are of great value to others. The way you think, the way you see, the way you draw is something that only a trained and talented human can do. At least at this point in time. You should make sure there is always a value associated with every hour you spend on work.”

He says “stop giving it away” but it’s not as always as simple as all that.

Let me give you an example of how this plays out.

A client requests we do a brainstorming session before starting billable hours.

I say: do one. For free. Resist the urge to do more than one free brainstorming sesh with a client because here’s the deal: brainstorming is your work. Many of us excel at consulting because in an hour of “brainstorming” with a client we can hit on multiple solutions to the “coffee stain” problem that will save hours of work (perhaps it’s time for us to come up with a stronger term than brainstorming?). Translated to dollars, we’re talking thousands of dollars potentially saved from a one-hour “brainstorming” session.

Case in point.

A one-hour session with a client last month (remember, we’re talking sixty minutes, not a whole lot of time) yielded: an employee suggestion that led to the hiring of said employee, a tagline (ultimately, a branding statement), numerous connections within the blogging world and a Plan of Attack for branding at a conference. It’s business development and it’s highly creative. It’s also billable.

Creative types (and Scanners) often undervalue themselves…not because we don’t have anything of value to offer…but because we’re often unable to put our fingers on what it is exactly that we offer. I’ve seen this happen with countless Designers.

I can’t say this loudly enough to you creative types in the working world: Stop Right Now. Stop Giving it Away.

It’s going to be tempting to keep giving it away. We’re enthusiastic about things. LOTS of things. Bright, shiny things. Things that are new. Things that other people are excited about.

We get excited, too!

And there are plenty of folks out there that are willing to exploit our enthusiasm for their project(s).

I’m not saying they are jerks for doing so. Nor am I suggesting we chill and give up our enthusiasm (or become jaded…I’ve had my moments where I’m like eff this, I’m not giving anymore of my Go Juice to this project you’re paying me beans for.) I’m saying it’s up to us to say, “no, you may not have it for free.” Rather than saying we have to go against our nature and focus on one thing and one thing only, let’s figure out ways to pay our bills AND continue to love the way we do.

We can have both.

We’re All Trading, Yes. We’re Trading in Love

It’s going to look different to everyone, but it boils down to this: we do trade daily, all of us…cubicle dwellers and CEOs alike. The difference may be that Creatives…I think we tend to see the cleaning up of the coffee stain as an act of love. It’s something we do because we care about the people in our lives very deeply. We want to see them succeed. We want them to have a clean home, we see a cabinet full of clean dishes and food on plates as love.

And we’re not “paid” for it in dollars. Most housewives would be shocked to see a check show up at the door one day for $134,121. But, according to one survey in 2006, that’d be the amount they were due.

I read this super-charged piece by my friend Erin (Queen of Spain) called “The Business of Mommyblogging” that left me shaking my head going, “Yes. Heaven’s yes.” The main thrust was that companies like J+J are reaching out to mommybloggers and that it’s time for moms to get serious about what they have to offer (as a brand/business) and what they expect in return. Sometimes it’s not our lack of valuing ourselves that causes the problem. It’s our lack of knowing what we deserve in return for wiping up the coffee stain.

I think it’s time we have that dialog. And start coming up with some creative solutions.

After all, that’s what we do best.

I believe Ivan from CreativeBits would agree. He concludes his article with, “Everyone should do as much [pro bono] as time allows. We as communication specialists have a big responsibility and opportunity to change the world to the better.” Changing the world comes from a place of love. Changing the world starts with loving and valuing ourselves and our creative work within it.

—
*The title comes, in part, inspired by the latest from the always inspiring Merlin Mann. I’ve watched this half a dozen times and still have only figured out about 1/4 of what he’s saying. WARNING: Might be USFW (unsafe for work)…for the backstory.