This is not a joke. I have a problem. It’s starting to cloud my vision and I’m going broke because of it. I haven’t told my friends about it because I’m embarrassed. I’ve decided to come clean because it seems like there are others out there with this problem and it’s time we talk about it. In public. Come clean.

I’m a Conference Junkie.

There, I said it.

I’m addicted to conferences and each time I hear about a new one, I want to go.

I was sitting on the pot early this week reading the most recent issue of STEP Inside Design magazine. Got to the first article called “Adult Art Camp: A Creative Charge” by Ina Saltz. It’s about ADIM (Art Directors Invitational Master Class). My heart rate skyrocketed. My breathing shortened. In fact, I don’t think I really breathed properly at all as I read about the attendees and projects. Attendance limited to under 100? Unheard of. 3-D photos of attendees “turned into action-figure-sized replicas of heads shipped” back to the conference overnight to then be “turned into elaborately themed environments and fantasy narratives?” Are you for SERIOUS!? Where do I sign up!?

And I’m not even really a Trained Artist. I’m not the target audience!

That matters little to a Conference Junkie.

You’re not going for the “event” are you? You’re going for the je ne sais quoi that grabs you by the throat and won’t let you go. Once you’ve started, it’s real hard to stop.

I wish I could say this was an isolated event. I wouldn’t be writing this if it were.

Yesterday I met with Bill Erickson of the now famous BIL. A poor man’s alternative to TED. We had lunch and as I heard him talk about how the conference is structured the words “break out sessions” made me salivate and “guest speakers” made my ears burn. All the warning signs. I squirmed in the booth. I swallowed my Asian Fusion with a lump in my throat. God.

Another conference to attend in February, 2009.

Just a month before SXSWi.

Honestly, I think SXSWi this year is where the problem started. I know I shouldn’t be ashamed to tell you all this, but I am.

I went to “Southby” as folks in the know are calling it. I didn’t attend a single session. Not because I didn’t want to. Because I was a booth babe (totally fun, totally exciting) for Socialthing! That got me into the Trade Show (a spectacle in its own right) and that was it. I went to all the hottest parties, stayed up until 2ish each night and slept late. The room was trashed all weekend. I felt like I looked like hell warmed over.

Those were some of the best nights of my life.

You don’t need to purchase a ticket to get a lot out of a conference.

I went to An Event Apart this year, too. No ticket. New Orleans. You think you need to attend the conference itself to have a rockin’ time in a new city? Think again.

Oh, I give myself all sorts of reasons for my little problem. I make excuses. I tell myself it’s for networking. I soothe myself with the knowledge that the one connection I make at a conference could mean the difference between this or that.

But really, what I’m hoping for is the connection that’ll get me into the next conference.

BlogHer08 rolled around. I knew I was speaking but I couldn’t get enough out of the pre-conf. I’m STILL following post-conf blog posts, tweets and information coming out of the weekend. Three weeks after the fact. I’m voting for where it should be held next year. I’m blogging about the people that touched my life. Ok, that’s the upshot of the issue. But, still, I’ve got a problem, people.

In between conferences I talk about conferences. I read about them. I try to figure out ways to get my friends and I in for free.

I’m not just gonna roll over and let this thing own me. But I’m going to need your help. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

In the meantime, could you vote for us to speak at SXSWi 2009?