(This is the fifth in a series of five posts this week on Humanizing Technology)

Welcome to post five of five on Humanizing Technology!

What does it mean to really be present with someone? It’s a question I ask myself several times a day. Am I being present with him right now? Does she know I’m listening to her? How can I be even more present for this cup of coffee? This awkward conversation?

Yes, being present is a practice. And, I believe, being present for another person is the greatest gift we can give them. It doesn’t mean “being there” it means “being engaged” with them while we’re there.

Mindfulness practice can help us become present for others, can improve our HITs (human interaction times) many times over. A few pointers:

Make & maintain eye contact when speaking

You’re not listening if you’re not looking me in the eye. When you say, “I’m listening,” even as you type into your iPhone, I know you are lying and that adds an even more frustrating level of complexity to the conversation. Giving half of your energy to the computer screen and the other half to the speaker with whom you wish to engage means nobody wins. Don’t be afraid to shift your focus, 100%, to your speaker. Let us know you care by listening and looking.

Mentally drop what you were doing

How many times have you been in conversation with someone but known their mind was drifting?

Just as we’d like our audience to focus on us, we must be willing to focus on them. Learn to let go of what you were just doing and switch tasks quickly.

Use daily cues to come back to the moment

Renowned Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh suggested we use things that might normally frustrate us as “bells of mindfulness.” Each time we heard a giant bell sound during the retreat we stopped, took five breaths, and then carried on with what we were doing. He suggested we use stop lights as an opportunity to take five mindful breaths. Do the same when you hear your phone ring. What else comes up during your day that puts you on edge? How can you turn it into a vehicle for mindfulness?

Breathe deeply throughout the day. Add “breathing” to your routine.

Create a daily practice

I practice a little meditation daily. Five minutes is a good start. Build up from there. Nothing special, just sit, before you start your day. Some meditation instructors say any time of day is good. I say morning, before you launch into the day is good. Screw all the rest.

Another daily practice for me is tea drinking. Consider bringing tea into your workplace. We drink coffee and it’s acceptable to offer coffee when someone enters our space. How about we make drinking tea, preparing it with our guests, part of our routine? Notice how tea is about slow and coffee is about fast.

Get others involved with your practice

I teach yoga once a week at the bunker, where I work. I sit with friends and have, in the past, timed my meditation sessions with friends and acquaintances across the globe (this was back in my hippie phase…). Almost every day I invite someone to join me as I sit. It’s simple and it’s an invitation. There’s no pressure. Getting others involved supports your own practice. Regardless of what it is you’re practicing.

This can get a little weird. I have done some work with a business around town that makes folks bow in before meetings. In public. I find that obnoxious, personally, but the real question is: is it genuine or artificial? An invitation to someone to join you in practice can be the real deal. Just make sure you’re going in to it with an open heart. And that you’re ok with someone saying, “no.”

Well, it’s 5 of 5. I feel like I should say something amazing about humanizing tech. There is nothing amazing to say. Simply, practice. Get a routine going that allows you to be present for people and avoiding burn out will no longer be a question. Take time with yourself and with others. Notice details and stay in the moment. You’ll be a human again in no time!

*If you didn’t get enough about Humanizing Tech over this week of posts, check Patrick & me out at Zen is Stupid. We talk about this kind of stuff every week. With more humor. Because Patrick’s funny. I set them up, he knocks them down. We’re a good team like that. And yeah, that’s him up there in the first photo, in our yoga studio in Japan.